Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize