I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
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