he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
