did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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