some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
