you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
