in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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