I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize