I hate your face
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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