i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize