ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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