Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
