between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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