He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
