So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
