D3 body, D1 cock
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
