I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
