It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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