i permit you to call me
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I would ride that face into the sunset
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
