You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
