I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
