my mouth tastes like poor choices
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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