I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i will never coherently bang her
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
