drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Randomize
