Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
