My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
