He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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