Are we in a gay sports bar?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
