even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just want to make out with him forever
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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