Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize