She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
