Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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