What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
