I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She tied me up with her honor cords...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
