No more Irish car bombs ever.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
