Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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