And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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