Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
