PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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