I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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