Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
