You're a womanizer and a bitch.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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