The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
