Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I wish life had little blips of pornography
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
