I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
