im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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