yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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