the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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