i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
