Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
