I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
