The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize