The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
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