the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize