Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
