I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
