I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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