Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
please come you make the beer taste better
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
