she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
