It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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