Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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