I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
well most of my day revolves around power hour
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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