we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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